Author, Redeem Thyself! (Zen and the Art of Publishing)

2009.

Wow, what a year.

For every writing triumph, it seemed like I suffered a family tragedy, the last of which forced me to drop out of the finals of America's Next Best Celler contest. And yeah, that stung. It was a hard decision to come to, and not altogether a popular one. But it was also a necessary one and the only right one for my family, my son who went down hard in the face of autism/schizoprenia. No regrets there. And now I can say, hey, that was last year!

And yeah, a good part of me wants to drop to my knees and cheer for the demise of 2009. But another masochistic part of me is grateful for it--because for every trial this last year threw at my family, I can show you a survivor.

If last year was my year of surviving extremes of human emotion, then I want 2010 to be about finding that middle ground that eludes so many women. As I stare into the maw of three unfinished projects, I want to redeem myself as an author. I want to learn to balance the invitable challenges life doles out with a believable writing goal. So with that in mind, I'm returning to those things that worked for my life before I became *gasp* published.

So instead of making a bunch of resolutions, I'm making a list of positive affirmations.

1) It's ok to set my own pace.

In 2010, I'm allowing myself to be proud of my natural pace--a thousand words a day word count. No more Nanowrimo-ish efforts, and Sven can keep his sweaty paws to himself, thank you very much! While these are all fantastic programs, they aren't for me. I'm allowing myself to say "no" to gimmicks. I won't resort to any more tricks to make myself "vomit" a novel, because for me, those efforts suck the magic from the process.

And truth is, 1000 words a day is 365,000 words a year. I'll take it! Because living up to that committment leaves me the time to advocate for my sons (autism) and make sure my neurotypical kids are making good progress in the dreams for their futures.

2) I'm going to teach myself to laugh again. Things got pretty intense around here last year, and truth is, I miss laughing. I miss cracking up at my keyboard, not to mention the antics of my uber cute hubby. So once Wicked Redemption (angst on crack!) is turned in to my editor, no more angsty stories. Angsty dark moments, fine. But no heart wrenchers for me. Not this year. And the only heat I'm writing is the kind I'm comfortable creating.

3)This girls just wants to have fun. So I'm allowing myself to write for the sheer love of it. Writing for market only makes me miserable. So with my writing time limited to a thousand words a day, the choice is easy. Love wins, hands down.

4) I'm sticking with what works! I'm going back to having fun at textnovel, because truth is, I'm a reader slut. Writing in the serial format keeps me writing. It also brings me instant gratification as a writer. Plus, it's fun. So bring it, baby!

5) I'm going to give myself permission to blog even if I'm stalled on my current story. Because truth is, I like blogging. With my real life social time limited by my children's needs, blogging keeps me connected to readers and other authors. And the beefcake is to die for. :)

I have a feeling that once I've done all the above, I'll find those zen moments at my keyboard that I miss so much, those ones where the story transports me someplace else...and for me, that's what this writing thing is all about!

So what's the agenda for your new year? Are you making lofty resolutions, or getting back to basics?