Anaconda—for if you’re feeling like having hot Amazonian sex
Anal wedge--ahem
Bag Pipe—for those of you having Scottish fantasies
Ba-donk-a-donk—For the moments you’re so moved , you start screaming in a country twang
Caped Crusader—to be used while having manic comic book sex
Dickimus Maximus—anyone love Gladiator?
Dr. Wang—best used while wearing white lab coats and stilettos
El Capitan—feeling a bit South of the Border?
Executive Staff Member—for the moments you find your panties around your stiletto and bent over a desk while staring at the desk blotter
Fire hose—Do I hear sirens?
Frankfurter—has a nice Bronx kinda sound to it.
Gear Shift—Think about that time your fantasies included the car mechanic with the low-slung jeans and the grease under his nails
Godzilla—Enough said
Handwarmer—Think hot chocolate, winter nights, and a blanket spread before the fire
Incredible Bulk—for the Marvel lovers in your life
Iron Horse—if said with a Russian accent, this one could be hot
Jackhammer—for construction worker lovers
Joystick—for gamers
Kaptain Kielbasa—may or may not be a Polish lover
Knee Knocker—has a Mother Goose-ish rhyme to it
Leader of the Sack—think biker dude in black leather
Louisville Plugger—for those moments you excuse yourselves from the Pirates game and find yourself up against a restroom wall
Magic Wand—Any JK Rowling fans out there?
Master of Ceremonies—Olympian sex
Night Stick—if you’re handcuffed with a man in uniform looming over you, this is the word you use
Nuke—has a gritty pyrotechnic sound
Optimus Prime—in case you had a girl-boner for robots that are able to speak kindly
Pants Snake—got a turban and a flute?
Pimp Cane—used only in the darkest alleys in town
Quick-shot Sam—he’s a legend, don’t ya know?
Ring Stinger—for WWF-style sex
Salami—hot Italian sex
Sir Martin Wagstaff—oooh, you’re fucking someone titled?
Tonsil Toothbrush—for the sexiest of dental visits
Twizzler of Love—I love Twizzlers!
Uterus Unicorn—okay, this one cracks me the hell up!
Vaginal Explorer—for the adventurer setting out to find a new realm of pleasure
Weapon of Ass Destruction—for the moments you find yourself alone with a politician
Xcaliber—sex partners you find at the Renaissance Faire
Yung the Hung—may or may not be into Sumo wrestling
Em Petrova
www.empetrova.com
latest release WILD WILD HEARTS http://loose-id.com
http://www.loose-id.com/hollis-boys-3-wild-wild-hearts.html
9 comments:
loved reading the lists of names....some of them are very funny! really liked Uterus Unicorn!!! LMAO!
Zipper Wookie. Hahahahaha
Hi Em, and welcome to Writers Gone Wild! I have to say, this is the best blog post I've read in a long time! Congrats on your new release :)
Anne Kane
www.AnneKane.com
These were very funny!
Where's Mr. Johnson's Throbbing Thrill Hammer? : )
XXOO Kat
I call my favorite junk "Howie" - short for Howitzer.
Well, I am at a loss....
Cock just seems inconsequential after these! ;-)
Goodness these were too funny!
Oh my God, Em, you never cease to amaze me with your awesomeness.
Thanks for dropping by, Em! I love them all. And you're so organized, they're even listed alphabetically! *snicker*
Must be something in the water this is the second post about naming the male member that I read.
Janice~
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